A letter to the germs in our house

Attention all germs currently residing in our house... you are unwanted and must leave immediately!

I apologize if we made it seem like you were ever welcomed in our house or in our bodies, we are sometimes too polite and hospitable for our own good. We allowed you to stay for a while without saying anything because we thought you would leave after a brief visit. But you have been with us over a month now, and you know what they say about fish and visitors....

I understand that the neighborhood has been plagued by a vicious strain of RSV, so when all four children and I came down with it four weeks ago, I wasn't too surprised. (I was under the impression that it was just a childhood illness, so thank you for enlightening my understanding of it, but, a simple note would have sufficed.) And, with all the reading I have done on this illness, I completely understand why almost every ear in the house has an infection in it, and most sinus cavities are filled to the brim with yuckiness and infection... we got it, you are a big, bad virus that needs to be respected...we have a sufficient level of respect for you, now leave us alone! I am tired of doing breathing treatments on multiple people multiple times a day, and steaming the bathroom so we can lay in the floor and breath the steam to get some sleep. I am done with doling out medicines to my little ones so they can sleep through the night without coughing up a lung and rubbing them down with Vicks from the soles of their feet all the way up to their noses. I think I have bought enough boxes of Kleenex to build a cardboard igloo.

I am done wiping boogery noses, both mine and all the smaller sizes in the house. I got so frustrated with yucky boogers being stuck in the baby's hair that I actually gave the baby his first haircut to keep his long hair from being permanently plastered to his face with goop...he now has his first little mullet because I only cut his bangs and over his ears since those were the spots that were getting stuck and it was done while I was sick and frustrated. I'm sure he will thank you personally later when he realizes how silly mullets are.

Please don't think me complaining, I know that RSV is supposed to take a good bit of time to recover from, and I am so very grateful that none of my kids had to spend time in the hospital like so many neighborhood babies had to, and I am thrilled that they are starting to feel more like themselves finally. But after four weeks of this nonsense why did you lease out my breathing spaces to pneumonia, and bronchitis in Scott? You could have simply evaporated into thin air leaving only the memory of your time with us. But instead you invited more party guests without asking us! It was hard enough being sick with 4 sick kids, but now I am having to be sick with a sick hubby and 4 almost well kids... are you going to be bringing me some kind of energy drink so I can keep up with them, or a nice hot pot of chicken soup? I think it is the least you can do.

Oh, and if/when you call to apologize, please be sure to speak up, I'm not ignoring you on purpose (although I feel like I should). I have cotton balls in my ears to help with the double ear infections you gave me. Thanks for the early birthday gifts!

Thanks and goodbye!