Garrett's story 2011 - Santa's Secrets Exposed

Here is the last of the kids' stories... Garrett's expose' on the truth about Santa Claus.

The reason his is typed is because Garrett still has a hard time with handwriting. He hates doing it. His writing isn't too neat if he isn't concentrating on it fully and it is just to the point of being painful to have him write a lot in penmanship. So he typed his and all was well!

I love all the kids stories this year! I think they are all prize winners, but we will see what the judges think. When we were working on rough drafts and story bubbles and all that, Garrett had been struggling with what he wanted to write about and was near tears when all of a sudden this idea struck him. His emotions did an immediate U-turn and he was suddenly giggly and excited to write it. We were all laughing at the ideas he had and were helping him come up with more "myths" to write about. This was such a fun story to see evolve.

Myth #1: Santa loves milk and cookies
False
Truth: He is lactose intolerant, and all the milk he drinks on Christmas gives him terrible gas.

Myth #2: Santa drives a sleigh pulled by reindeer
False
Truth: He drives a stealth-mode, military-grade hovercraft. That;s why you never see any hoof prints from the reindeer.

Myth #3: Santa slides down the chimney to come in your house.
False
Truth: He has a very long history of breaking and entering and he has perfected the art.
Myth #4: Santa has a workshop full of elves working year round making the toys for good little girls and good little boys.
False
Truth: The elves simply go online and order every toy from different companies, then wrap them up and put them in Santa's sack for him to deliver.
Myth #5: Mrs. Claus is Santa's wife.
False
Truth: Santa never wanted to settle down and give up his globe trotting ways. She is really his spinster sister.
Myth #6: Santa's belly jiggles like a bowl full of jelly
False
Truth: It looks more like a bowl full of Jell-O jigglers.

Myth #7: Santa loves cookies.
False
Truth: He prefers scones and honey butter, but no one bothered to ask him


Myth #8: Santa wears black boots.
False
Truth: his boots are really pearl white but they are very dirty.
Myth #9:Santa lives in a workshop in the North Pole.
False
Truth: He owns an 80,000 sq ft mansion at the North Pole.
Myth #10: Santa carries around a sack of toys.
False
Truth: He has a team of elf scientists who have perfected teleporting techniques and they teleport the toys from the North Pole into his sack one at a time.