"Why is he peeing in the corner?"

A few weeks ago Garrett decided to write a letter to the president. It was short and sweet and fairly unimportant. He didn't have any burning questions on his mind or a right that needed amending...he just wanted to say hello.

I knew he would get a form letter in reponse and tried to prepare him for what was inevitably going to come.

Me: Okay, Garrett, please understand that the president isn't going to personally write you back. Someone from his press handlers will probably send you a letter saying something like, 'Dear American citizen, thank you for your interest in blah blah blah, please know that the president is doing all he can to ensure a brighter future for America.'

Garrett: Okay, Mom. I know. I just wanted to write him anyways. I'm not expecting anything in return.

Then last week, a large manilla envelope stamped 'First Class: Do Not Bend' came in the mail. Garrett's name and address were hand written on the front and the return address simply stated: The White House, Washington D.C.

Garrett was so thrilled!

When he opened it, he found so many treasures inside. Among them was a map of the White House and all its rooms, a paper titled 'An Interview With the President', a "signed" picture of the president himself, and the form letter that I had forewarned him of.

It was longer than I had expected: it was two paragraphs!

It said:

"Dear Student:

Thank you for writing. I am continually inspired by the enthusiasm and ideas of young Americans, and I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts with me.

One of the most important things I can do as President is make sure your tomorrow is as bright as it can be. Young people like you are America's future, and whether we fall behind or race ahead as a Nation will depend largely on your generation. As you grow and learn, remember that your country is counting on you to be a dedicated and hard-working student. I encourage you to set your sights high, aim for excellence in all that you do, and try each day to improve the lives of others in your community.

Thank you again, for your message. I wish you all the best."

I didn't gag at it or scoff too much at it. It was nothing too bad or overly cheesy. Just your typical form letter with the fake signature at the bottom.

Garrett leafed through all the papers and stopped when he came to one. A brochure about some of the different art pieces throughout the White House. He paused at the cover of it and them passed it to me and asked,

"Mom, why is he peeing in the corner of the room?"

 

There you have it...any good that COULD have come from this packet of papers was flushed down the drain... pun intended.

Yes, Mr. President, why ARE you peeing in the corner of the room in front of Washington's picture?

But the bigger question on my mind is why, with a staff larger than the population of Texas, did no one catch this before it was mass printed and distributed to grade school children? Someone had to look at this picture when they were proofing it and think to themselves.

 "You know what, this pose could probably be misconstrued to look like he is taking a wee on the wall."

After we all had a good laugh about it and wondered how in the civilized world we live in did it pass through US inspections without raising some red flags, Garrett chose his favorite item from the packet.

Not surprisingly, it wasn't the art brochure.

 It was the baseball sized playing card with a picture of the First Dog on the front and then all his 'statistics' on the back.

We learned all sorts of things from this card about the First Dog that we never knew before (and will never need to know ever).

For instance: did you know that even though Bo is a Portuguese water dog, he doesn't know how to swim? And his favorite foods are tomatoes and toys?

Yeah, I just added two more pieces of useless knowledge to your database as well.

 I'm just trying to 'improve the lives of others in my community', Mr. President style.