Gratitude 3: it's probably bad, but it makes my heart melt...

Sometimes I get caught up in the now and forget to look at the big picture...it happens to the best of us. But as I see my kids' childhoods flying by all too quickly, I am trying to capture all these day to day things because they are going to be my favorite memories one day.

So today's gratitude moment for today involved my little Owen, who as of tomorrow will be seven years old. He can be my strongest willed little man, and can do the mind-over-matter thing splendidly - ignoring cold, pain, hunger, or whatever whenever he wants to seem older or stronger than he really is. He acts so old and mature at times, but then he has moments like today.

 I had a stake Relief Society meeting tonight and left Teagan babysitting all the boys. When I left, everyone was happy. Owen and Teagan were handing out invites to his birthday party tomorrow while Garrett stayed at home with the two sleeping, younger boys. But when I got home, the scene was much different.

As  I walked in the door I was jumped on by a near hyperventilating little boy. He clung to me like a koala baby clings to it's mommy. He was in deep tears, face beat red and wouldn't open his eyes or look at me. All he wanted to do was be held.

He's done this before, but tonight was a little worse than normal. At times, when I am gone, he just gets all emotional and misses his mom so much he breaks down. Tig can't help him or calm him down, so he just cries and cries in his room. It annoys Tig since she can't do anything to help, Scott thinks he is using as a way to prove he is in control (?), and I just think it is so sweet! It's not sweet that he is terrified and tearful, but I love being loved so deeply by someone. (He tells me all the time that he never wants to get married because he never wants to leave me. How sweet is that?)

So him breaking down when I am gone might be an annoyance right now, but when I am old and gray and looking back on my life, this memory will be one of those that warms my heart and brings a smile to my face. I'll remember his red little face, eyes sealed shut, filled with tears, and how all he wanted in the world was to just sit and rock and be held forever.